today i brushed a girl’s
headful of knotted hair
her pigtails were askew
did daddy do your hair this morning or did you i asked
(because mom is no more)
i did it she said
come here i said
bring your brush
and she did
and i brushed her hair and talked with her
in the middle of class
during the morning chaos
and other little girls looked at us and wanted me to brush them out too
but you have mommies i wanted to tell them
i’m not brushing hair i wanted to say
or making perfect pigtails
i am trying trying to mother her
to say i’m so sorry sorry sorry your momma is gone forever
brush brush brush
here is a bandaid for your gushing wound
but here are hair elastics instead of a tourniquet
i tied looped them over and over and over again just so
and i stroked her head and hugged her
and i don’t know if she felt anything or if i’m making a difference
(am i)
but what else do you do when you see a headful of matted hair
and two ponytails askew
-j. avellana hongo