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  • Writer's pictureJan Avellana

This was the toughest week I've had in a while--but I'm still alive, I'm still here and I am resilient AF. I want to talk smack about all of it. I want to say all the things about the person I dealt with last week that are stirring in my mind and heart. But I know it's not useful, helpful or good for me to give life to those words--not saying I'm brushing the experience aside and saying it's all good--HELL TO THE NO. Oh, I'm processing all of it believe me, with safe people that I love.

So in the place of a wicked rant, a poem:

I ate a lemon today.

I squeezed it first

to soften it, rolled it on the counter

and then I cut it,

just so into wedges--

I sucked every last bit of juice,

chewed through

each pocket until they burst

in my mouth,

sweet, not sour--

and spit out the seeds over the kitchen sink,

savage like,

letting it drip from my chin

and fingertips,

letting it soak my shirt

pocket where it squirted.

And then I ate another one.

  • Writer's pictureJan Avellana

Is it really just 3 more Fridays 'til summer?!! Omygosh I love the sound of that!!!

It's been a year! New teaching position, new responsibilities and a steep learning curve in this new job...I've been stretched this year for sure. Plans are already underway for next school year, but before we dive in to that fully, summer will be here and I'll have time to take a nice long break and hopefully, recalibrate.

We are taking a 5 week family trip this summer, to Japan. The one thing I am most looking forward to during this trip is swaths and oodles of time with my boys. Now, I get them in drips--they are so busy with their own lives--so it will be excellent to have them 24/7 for several weeks on end! I don't know if they're looking forward to this as much as I am, but I am one happy mama!

  • Writer's pictureJan Avellana

In between work and home life, I am an explorer of the world--at least my own inner world. Lately I've been thinking about joy and how to reside in joy as an act of being. It's not easy for me--joy comes for brief visits then leaves me in my natural melancholy state, usually.

But sometimes it peeks through. I caught it on paper last night, playing in my new sketchbook, smooshing around gouache and letting myself explore abstract art. It's really growing on me!

Perhaps this will grow into a body or work? Or maybe it's all just play and won't be seen again? That's the beauty of my sketchbook--no hard and fast rules. Just play. Just try out things on a whim, new ideas, new color combinations, the what ifs. It's a refreshing break from all of the adult responsibilities that tug at my hem. What are you doing to play today?

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