• Jan Avellana

The Demarcation Line

I'm not who I once was. I suppose every day, every hour of our lives we can say these things and they would be mostly true.

But what I'm talking about here is that demarcation line of how I seem to look at my life now—before Mom died, and after. And I am living in the after, though it has taken me 4 long months to round the bend, I'm here.

Inside of me is this slow burning ember of need to mark myself. Because I feel changed. I feel branded with an invisible brand, and there is something in me that wants to express that, that grief, or pain, or hope, or something. A tattoo? A piercing? A streak of color in my hair? I don't know. They all seem very mid-life crisis-ish...but something. You know?

So I started with my hair. Becuase all women know that if you change your hair, you change your life.

Hugs to all of you who actually understand what I'm saying, down to the marrow in your bones. xo