• Jan Avellana

Saturday, November 21, 2020

It is a blustery Autumn Saturday here in Hawaii Kai, a marina community on the East side of the island that I live on in Hawaii. On days like this, the wind has a voice. It groans and moans in heaves and then all is quiet again. All I can say is, "I get you, Wind."

I feel like that's been me lately, moaning and groaning and then--quiet. When it picks up speed, the wind soiunds scary and powerful, but after it passes, all I feel is a wispy melancholy of ache--invisible, but indelible if you know what I mean.

I rose too early for a Saturday, and then after some lazing around, went back to bed for a few hours. This is one of my favorite things, that falling back asleep and letting myself not have a schedule. Later, I worked on lesson plans for the early part of the week and then finished binge watching "The Queen's Gambit" which I horribly regret finishing becuase I am now empty and purposeless! I was NOT prepared for that to be the end becuase I was bingeing and not paying attention to the episodes and I let out a small cry when I realized it was over. What is it about the power of stories and the characters that live them, that become so real that turning the last page feels like death? It doesn't happen often, but oh, when it does...sigh.

A rambly, edgeless kind of day where I had a lot of time to do lots of nothing. My favorite kind. How did you spend your Saturday?