• Jan Avellana

Lace not Walls

I remember bemoaning to my therapist once, about the fact that I am hole-ly, like a wall with big holes in it. That I was supposed to be strong, but I'm not strong, I'm weak (because of my holes). And I talked about the shame of it all, how I am failing to live up to all the things I should be able to accomplish in my life by pushing through and shoring up, but that I've so many times let things go or failed to make it over that imaginary hill to victory.

With kindness he offered this instead, "What if you're not meant to be strong? Lace has holes in it, and it's beautiful and fragile, but lace is valued for these qualities. What if you're supposed to be like lace, and not stone? What if the holes you have and make up are meant for a purpose other than to be strong?"

Weep. Perspective. The stories about ourselves we insist are true. I had never, not ever thought about my make up this way before. There was so much truth here. There still is.

What if my God given design was to be lace and not a wall? What if my hole-ly ness was something that was valued because I was hole-ly, and not in spite of it? What if?

Do you have a story you tell yourself that might benefit from a change in perspective? I'd love to hear...

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